Four letters that speak volumes

The news surrounding the end of the “swatting” trial of two young boys who harassed girls at their middle school troubled me. Their printed apologies didn’t convey acceptance of responsibility – “IF I offended you”, one of them is reported to have said. You don’t know by now? And what were your offensive actions, rather than the effect on others? And the reports that the parents of the boys plan to sue prosecutors for handling the case poorly turned my stomach. Move on, parents. Your kids have been through enough. Your sons are fortunate not to have sexual assault records, and both they and the girls need time and space to recover from both the harassment and the ordeal of the prosecution – where public opinion often seemed like further blaming of the victims. Suing the prosecutors will mean further emotional trauma for the girls, in requiring them to continue to focus on not only the abuse but also its aftermath.

The Oregonian prints four excellent letters on the subject today. The key points of each:

1. “Who says crime doesn’t pay?” If the boys’ suit succeeds, it will for them.

2. “We see no indication from these boys’ statements that they have any understanding of the harm they caused to their victims. Until they do, they are not being held accountable for their actions and are likely to repeat their behavior.”

3. “Taxpayers pony up thousands of dollars to teach these two kids the values that their parents unapologetically lack.”

4. “Instead of sending a “message” to the Yamhill County district attorney’s office by way of a lawsuit, these parents should send a message to their kids about how to behave outside of their homes, and then move on with their lives.”

That KGW link above says the parents of two of the four girls involved are also planning to sue the School District, for their distress when administrators failed to take action sooner. If this saga had happened to my daughter Ali, I wouldn’t have been happy about that, either. But if it had been my daughter, the last thing I would want to do now is prolong the public agony for her by suing the School District.

Middle school is a difficult/horrible time for many children and parents. Working out the response to mistakes (both of kids and adults) under public scrutiny is far from ideal. Continuing to do so by suing to “prove” the response of authorities was incorrect suggests the lesson being taught is that litigation is the American way to solve problems.

I believe it is one way, but that it should be a last resort. I hope the parents will reconsider after their children return to school in September, when the focus should return to whether homework has been turned in, and whether kids have friends, teachers, and adult mentors who help them survive and learn from all the ordeals of adolescence.