Worst Mothers’ Day Commercial Ever

I have twenty radio station options set on the buttons of my car stereo (ten AM, ten FM). When a commercial comes on, I’m usually quick to switch to another station. I sometimes listen to the political ads, but I know from experience how little can be said in 30 or 60 seconds (22 seconds for a Public Campaign Finance candidate being required to state same in every commercial), so I only occasionally track those, for academic interest.

But studies have shown that all kinds of distractions increase risks of accidents while driving, not just talking on a cell phone whether hands-free or hand-held. Berkeley Lab notes, “Think about it; let’s say you’re going 60 miles per hour. If you look down for just two seconds to choose a CD or adjust the climate controls, you’ll have traveled 176 feet blindly. That’s more than half the length of a football field.” The intersection of SW Capitol Highway, Huber, and I-5 is a place I need both hands on the wheel, even though I drive through it hundreds of times every year. So I was stuck listening to the Worst Radio Commercial Ever. It goes something like this:

Kid: “Surprise, Mom, we got you tickets for a family vacation to Paris for Mothers’ Day!”

Mom: “Oh no! I’ll miss the sale at Macy’s!”

[Rest of commercial is kid pointing out glories of family trip to France, mother continuing to negate all positive aspects of same by whining about missing the sale].

ARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! That is horrible, on so many levels! In the first place, when a child gives a Mothers’ Day gift of any variety (usually undefinable ceramic artwork made in school, in my experience), the correct response is, “I love it! Thank you!”. Only later may one ask, “Tell me about this lovely gift you made specially for me” (note, not “What is it?”, or worse yet, “What is it supposed to be?”). Or, “I’m wondering if you’d mind if we don’t go to Paris this year, even though I appreciate the lovely gift, since my new business can’t tolerate me being away for two weeks”.

Second of all, family vacations to Paris should not be surprise gifts. They are a significant chunk out of the family budget, and require dedication of several people’s time. Unless the family already has a clear understanding that Mom has been dreaming of a trip to France for decades and would drop everything in a minute to go, there should be a discussion with Mom about it. She is at least co-head of the household, and deserves to be included in deciding whether the money should be spent or saved, and whether she has other plans for that timeframe. Note, “other plans” would not include staying home for a sale at a department store nobody else in the family cares about.

OK, OK, I know, it’s just a commercial. But the eeuww factor is so high, someone should tell whoever made it they are not doing their client any good. If my daughter and I weren’t already boycotting Macy’s for being so disappointing after Meier & Frank, we’d be doing so after hearing that commercial.

Every mother and mothering person is different. In many ways, Mothers’ Day is another “Hallmark holiday”, catering more to commercial sales than true values. The things I’ve treasured most from my kids over the years have been gifts that cost no or little money. I remember the first time my daughter made me scrambled eggs and toast to eat in bed, accompanied by a sink full of burnt toast scrapings when I took the dishes down to the kitchen. She’s since grown to make the most perfect eggs-and-toast, and makes it for me as my standard recovering-from-migraine picker-upper. My older son wrote a poem one year that is still proudly displayed in our home. It begins, “When I’m feeling sad and down, who makes me feel like I’m wearing a crown?” Classic. And my younger son dominated the painted-lump-of-clay, not-sure-what-it-is, category. Knowing how much he loathed artwork in school, I appreciated the struggle that went in to making each one. Those are the best kinds of Mothers’ Day gifts, for me. Or a simple hug (or e-mail since the older two are still finishing up their college terms), to say “I love you”. That’s really what Mothers’ Day is all about.